What kind of men are you into? Is it the gentle and shy guy next door? The feminine man? Or is it the old-school, macho guy who always has to have everything under control? Are you somewhere in between?
If an alpha male has turned your head, you’ve come to the right place. In this article, I want to show you what makes a true alpha male and what it’s like to date one.
Are you ready to give Brad Pitt from the movie Fight Club or Russell Crowe from Gladiator a chance?
Frankly, the king of the dating jungle is not an easy catch. In particular, it will not let anything happen to him. This man always keeps track and is reluctant to let his target out of sight.
And even if people like to romanticize them and describe them simply as manly men, such as in the Netflix series 365 Days, they are much more than just powerhouses who grab their wives by the hair and fulfill all their bedtime wishes.
So what’s important to know before dating an alpha male?
7 secrets to dating an alpha male the right way
Nowadays, you can almost say that alpha men are a special species. However, he is undoubtedly the kind of man that has fascinated women worldwide for the longest time and has a very special attraction for them.
Let me tell you right now, though, that men like Andrew Tate and real alpha males have nothing in common. Concepts like respect and esteem play a big role in alpha men. Like the gentleman just mentioned, the wannabe machos could take a leaf out of that book.
Alpha males are not about owning, demeaning or humiliating anyone. They have something else in mind.
They are confident, determined, charismatic and intelligent. And that’s exactly what you’re going to feel.
So what are the most important facts when you want to date an alpha man?
1. They know what they want and what they do not want
Playing to an alpha male will be a big challenge. They are masters of the flirting game and they know exactly what they want and what they don’t want.
When you think back to how you met, you surely remember his determined walk, firm eye contact, and eloquent conversation.
Hardly anything will make him stutter. He will tell you the right compliments and seduce you with his determination. He sees your chocolate side, but he will also recognize at the same time when you are pretending and playing to him.
Such men are looking for a strong and cool woman who walks through life with confidence and self-assurance. A woman who does not need to pretend to him.
2. They may become territorial
What I mean by that? The “territory” they take care of will also include you sooner or later. So right here it is of great importance to be careful.
Where does jealousy start and grow into the urge to control you and your relationship? Sure, alpha males like to have the last word, but that doesn’t mean you should just accept it either.
Because you too can show your dominant, alpha side like your potential partner or dating partner.
3. They do not like to share
The energy that an alpha male radiates reflects not only on you but also on your surroundings. This is a particularly important point, considering that the alpha male dislikes sharing his beloved with others.
For example, if you have a male best friend who is just as much of an alpha type, there will most likely be an exchange between the two, perhaps even an unfriendly one.
Be prepared that he won’t necessarily jump in the air with joy when he realizes he’s not the only important man in your life.
4. They want more
An alpha male is always looking for the right way to improve himself, to become stronger, to have more success and to be happier. He is very ambitious and motivated.
He wants more out of life and he will try to transfer that to you as well. Therefore, you should not necessarily perceive his words as insulting or as an attempt to tell you that you are not good enough for him.
He wants you to get the best out of yourself and your life. Perhaps this can also be seen as a motivational boost, which scientists also say you need.
5. Be ready to stand up for yourself
If you are with or dating an alpha male, his presence and determination can also be somewhat frightening.
He may choose a meal for you or tell you when it’s time to leave the restaurant. But that shouldn’t stop you from speaking your own mind and standing up for yourself.
Dating an alpha man doesn’t mean you can’t be an alpha woman. Don’t pull back to give him more space. You have just as much right as he does to bring your personality into a relationship.
6. They like to be direct
Beating around the bush for a long time is not one of the strengths of alpha men. He likes to get everything straight to the point and expects the same from his partner.
Being direct and honest is especially important to an alpha male. He doesn’t want to waste time with false promises and unnecessary lies.
However, when we look at this attitude, it should also be mentioned that alpha males are not alone here. A survey from 2015 showed that 41% of all respondents see honesty as one of the most important factors of a happy relationship.
Well then… Accordingly, you really have nothing to lose and can only contribute to a healthy relationship with your openness.
7. Show him the way
Since the new hype in social media, the manosphere has taken on a whole new dimension. I completely agree with Professor Debbie Ging’s work on Alphas, Betas, and Incels: Theorizing the Masculinities of the Manosphere.
Often terms such as alpha male, masculinity, dominance, and are associated with misogyny.
Although an alpha male likes to be in charge, a woman who takes the initiative and tells him what she thinks will always be welcome with him.
The alpha man also likes the pepper in the soup! So don’t think you must hold back, because he likes it sweet, sour and fiery.
Those were the 7 most important things you should have in your mind if you want to date an alpha man. But before you decide to do that, let me tell you more about the basic characteristics of an alpha man.
Important characteristics of the alpha men
The term alpha male comes from the animal kingdom and refers to the leader in a pack of wolves. We, humans, speak of a man who is always in control, successful, determined, ambitious and willing.
His personality is attractive and intimidating at the same time. Perhaps that is exactly what makes him so irresistible to many women.
His determination enables him to achieve many successes – not only in his private life but also on the career ladder. Many bosses and CEOs of this world are exactly such alpha men.
If we add to this the fact that, according to researchers, women are particularly attracted to men with a higher income, good education and a self-confident appearance, these men often have an easy game.
Therefore, it is not surprising that many men want to know how to become an alpha male and what qualities he possesses.
But do you still ask yourself: What is an alpha man or what makes him? I would like to give you a concrete answer to this question.
He is confident
An alpha man is self-confident and not self-absorbed and arrogant. This is the big difference between him and a macho or manipulative man.
The alpha male is comfortable in his skin and has no problem showing it. He doesn’t need external validation to assure him that he’s doing his job well or that he’s nice.
He already knows that. This healthy self-confidence enables him to build good and quality relationships.
He is assertive
It is not always possible to distinguish assertiveness from unnecessary aggressiveness.
An alpha male will do anything to fulfill his idea, opinions and plans, but he does not approach it aggressively. He does not need to go over corpses and step on the toes of all kinds of people.
Alpha men and macho men often differ fundamentally at precisely this point.
On the contrary, he will often take the initiative and do it for himself and others. Bullying and manipulation have no place in his environment.
He has high expectations
Alpha men have very high expectations in life. Whether this is healthy at any time, however, remains to be seen. He always wants to strike while the iron is hot. Time wasting, dalliances and indecisiveness drive him mad.
If an alpha man is in a relationship, he also wants to get the best out of it. Of course, the same applies to his partner.
His high expectations are reflected in every aspect of his life. But in his job, they can be particularly dangerous. If he loses his balance, such behavior can quickly lead to exhaustion and burnout.
He pays attention to himself
Alpha men take great care to look well-groomed and good at all times. Their health, fitness and style are very important to them.
Personally, I don’t know many alpha males who have let themselves go either. They are always styled tip-top, smell good, are sporty and always have a smile on their face.
Making a good first impression does not come naturally and such a man is aware of that. He loves and respects his body and soul as time passes even more and more without acquiring narcissistic qualities.
He is intelligent
According to studies, intelligent men have greater chances with women than their opponents with a lower IQ.
The often unconscious choice relates not only to the possibilities of leading a better-off life with a smart partner, but also of passing on a higher IQ to the children. (6)
So here, too, an alpha male has good cards. He is intelligent, perceptive and ambitious. And the most important thing is that he knows how to use this.
With this man, deep conversations become a pleasure.
He is emotionally intelligent
Emotional intelligence means that he can read the mood and mood in a room at any time.
He won’t be able to read your mind, but he won’t spend hours looking for an answer when he realizes you don’t feel like talking. An emotionally mature man will always stand by you – even when you are not in the best of moods.
He knows how to behave in certain situations and responds to people properly.
What you can expect from an alpha man when dating and from his personality at all, we would now have clarified. The only question that remains is what kind of woman is perfect for an alpha man?
Which women do alpha men like?
The alpha man likes women who have both feet on the ground, are self-confident, success-oriented, strong and simply unforgettable.
It must be a woman who knows at all times what she wants in life and how to get there. As mentioned before, an alpha man not only wants the best for himself, but also expects the same from his partner.
This woman must be able to counter, show humor and enchant his heart with intelligence and wit. She is a woman who does not let anything dictate and impose their own ideas and attitudes.
She is strong and self-confident, because she is not afraid to make mistakes. So what if it happens anyway? She gets up again, straightens her crown and continues.
You could already say that alpha men attract exactly what they themselves radiate. Or do you think that passive men could also handle a dominant woman?
Well, it would be a challenge.
And what happens when an alpha male gets involved with a passive or withdrawn woman? At first glance, one could say that opposites attract. And we all know that this is often the case.
A reclusive woman can have a certain appeal to an alpha male and symbolize something mystical and mysterious.
However, a problem arises in the long run. Alpha males won’t mind making decisions and having the floor, but at some point the whole burden of a relationship will suddenly be on his shoulders.
And we all know that such an imbalance cannot go well in the long run. After all, a relationship is about two people working together towards a common goal and contributing to a happy and intact relationship.
My final words
Are you thinking about giving an alpha man in your life a chance and dating him, then you need to know certain things in advance.
This is not a man who lets you do everything with him. But he is also not a man who wants to have complete control and power over you.
It is in his nature to be determined and strong. However, this does not mean that he wants to manipulate you. It is very important to draw a clear line at this point. Because the alpha man is not a narcissist or toxic partner.
He is someone who is self-confident and energetic and does not want to hide that. His potential partner must therefore be able to keep up or even overtake him. She must also be willing to give him a piece of her mind occasionally and set firm boundaries.
She must be ready for an adventure because such a man always brings a lot of change and excitement.
Are you ready?
1. Hawley, P. H., Little, T. D. und Card. N. A.: The myth of the alpha male: A new look at dominance-related beliefs and behaviors among adolescent males and females, Research Gate
2. Stolk, J. D., Gross, M. D. und Zastavker, Y. V.: Motivation, pedagogy, and gender: examining the multifaceted and dynamic situational responses of women and men in college STEM courses, Springer Open
3. Ging, D.: Alphas, Betas, and Incels: Theorizing the Masculinities of the Manosphere, Research Gate
4. Mech, D. (2018): DER BEGRIFF ALPHA-WOLF
5. Hopcroft, R. (2022): On Internet Dating Sites, Women Prefer Men With Higher Incomes and More Education, IFS
6. Prokosch, M. D., Coss, R. G., Scheib, J. E. und Blozis, S. A.: Intelligence and mate choice: intelligent men are always appealing, Science Direct